Hey Confident Lady,
This week we've been talking “Boundaries in Business Part II". Last week we discussed setting boundaries with those who are in our business circle. And this week we are talking boundaries in PERSONAL relationships and how they can MAKE or BREAK our business.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself this week:
// Have I created good boundaries in my life with friends and family?
// How do these boundaries serve me in my business?
// Do I stick to these boundaries or do I let people cross them?
// Can I identify what makes me more vulnerable which in turn allows people to cross them?
Here is something to keep in mind while you're enjoying this blog post --->Improved Confidence in RELATIONSHIPS = Healthier Boundaries in Relationships = HEALTHIER MINDSET. And a HEALTHIER MINDSET = More Business SUCCESS.
Let's dive into some tips:
1. First, identify current boundaries in your relationships. How are you personally with saying no to friends, family, or “friends” when asked of something you aren’t available for? Do you feel comfortable speaking up and having your needs heard? I have found that NO or “let me think about it” empower us, builds our confidence, and leads to more fulfilling relationships. Yes, it’s not fun saying no to the people that you love, but saying NO in one instance, brings more space for the next. Relationships should be QUALITY over QUANTITY. If you said YES to helping that “friend” move (who only calls when she needs something), you would have less time to spend visiting with your grandmother who has lately been feeling lonely. Don’t spread yourself thin. Spreading yourself thin decreases your confidence because you never feel “enough” in what it is that you are doing. You feel rushed with your grandmother, you can’t pick up the phone when your friend needs you, you aren’t present when your husband is sharing about his day, etc., all because you couldn’t say no to helping that fair-weather friend with her move. Not cool!
2. Second, identify your personal relationships and how they reflect in your business. Do your friends, family, or partner know which are the best times to reach you, when you are in your group session, or taking client calls? Mine do. This makes it so simple because they know which days are best to text me (rather than call) because they know I’ll be back to back with clients. They also know which days I am available if anyone needs help with a favor. This may sound structured and not like something you'd be interested in doing, but my family totally respects it and knows in the long run it allows me to get even more done efficiently without interruption so in turn I can actually spend MORE time with them! If I was being interrupted during my work, it would take me much longer to finish it which would equal LESS time with spent with them.
Many women that come to me for Mindset or Confidence coaching aren’t quite sure why exactly they can’t push ahead. They feel depleted, drained, and know they are pouring from an empty pitcher. However, 99% of the time it is due to lack of boundaries. And the GOOD thing is, with identifying, processing, and learning new patterns of behaviors, this is a relatively EASY fix! And once it is fixed, LOOK OUT, floodgates of success will start pouring in. It can’t happen overnight because it takes PRACTICE and CONSISTENCY, but it IS POSSIBLE. What I first have my ladies do it take a week to take inventory of how many times they say yes and no to something, what they spend their time doing, who they spend it with, and then evaluate that list. I ask them to choose at least three things that can immediately be cut out. Is it one sided relationships? Letting someone interrupt your work day? Saying no to an acquaintance asking to meet for coffee to brain pick your business?
As ambitious, big hearted, world changing women we tend to want to help EVERYONE but ourselves. And guess what? This is the EASIEST route to take to reach FAILURE in your business. I know, NOT fun to hear. But in order to “make a big impact”, be fully present for the ones we love, and show up 100% in our businesses, we MUST keep our pitcher full to pour from.
Do you feel you’ve been doing a good job at this or is this something that can be a struggle at times? Does anything hit home with you or confirm something you've been feeling for some time? I’d love to hear your feedback and even experience with this. Please share below in the comments.